{Simon's mugshot}

ALL ABOUT SIMON
aka
Simon David James
aka
ArchiBear
aka
Seumas' Bit Of Stuff

__________________________________________________

Raindrops on skinheads,
And whiskers on faces,
Big boots for stomping,
And tight leather braces,
Pure gallus bearcubs
All tied up with string,
These are a few of my favorite things...

However accurate, that does rather exclude a lot:

Cloves & Style:

loud, LOUD shirts - "I want the bright orange and yellow checked shirt displayed in your window; I want it in extra large; and I want it NOW"

Dr Martens' Wee Booties - quelle surprise; ten eyelet and above, black or red.

Lean Cuisine ... not:

Sharp actinic cheeses, quality meat - well hung (well, don't we all!) and traditional English puddings. I don't like nasty overcooked vegetables, olives as a snack and beetroot in any way, shape or form.

Cats and other People

Well, the delectable Seumas can talk for himself but I'm also owned by two cats; they're brothers.

Roger looks like a classic big bad ginger tom which makes it just a bit embarrassing when he startles at the slightest thing. All show, no bottle.

Beamish is smaller, thinner, longer haired and slightly more cream coloured. Although definitely the fluffier of the two, he's the one that goes out and catches things; much to my chagrin.

Arts & Crafts:

SF - or should that should that be Sci-Fi, Seumas?

Big, big dictionaries - amateur etymological entymologist at work; I think Scots is fab - how can anyone not love "..g'ye the dry boke.."?

Music - For the head, we're talking Philip Glass, Michael Nyman, Steve Reich; for the heart: The Pet Shop Boys, Alison Moyet, Alanis Morisette; for the feet: anything diamantine in its hardness.

Sport:

Whothefuckputthatinhere? I played Tiddlywinks in my youth ... does that count? I like swimming though.

Computers:

OK - I use Acorn Computers .. I can handle it. At least it means I get some rest and relaxation at home away from the stress caused by taming the works of BealzeBill.

Political & Social:

First, a confession; I'm one of them - I am .. English. Personally, I think it's genetic but you can be influenced by how you were bought up.

And, of course, I'm also gay. But isn't everybody these days?

Academic & Professional

Applied mathematician by training and inclination, software consultant by profession - using miscellaneous databases and languages on Unix, Windows NT and vanilla Windows. I do a mean bit of C++.

Basically you hum it, I'll play it - I may bitch about it, but I'll play it.

Simon

__________________________________________________

© 1996 Simon James